locked to newstring When I see you again

[shizusumi]

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CW; Suicide, heartbreaking cuteness and trash fire twin shenigans, fuck the popo we do what we want.

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[shizusumi]

he world had tipped on it's axis starting this morning for Yagi Shizusumi, he found himself in a strange world. Stripped of everything familiar in his world, till he was walking and heard a laugh he thought gone from his life forever. To only be heard in his memories. Shizu's heart stopped when he turned a corner and found a familiar face that he has only pictured in his memory for the last year.

Yuki was here, Yuki was alive and Shizu spent the rest of the day believing he was dreaming. How could this even be possible? He has to be in a coma, on the brink of death. Maybe that's it he thinks as he lays in bed that night, trying to sleep, he pinches himself. Shit that hurt...

Okay, not dreaming, hallucinating maybe? What if he imagined it all, he is instantly out of the bed. His steps are quiet, used to living places where staying quiet is a necessity, he stops in Yuki's doorway staring at his sleeping form, a soft breath when his friend chest rises and falls regularly.

He shakes his head, moving back to his room, back to his bed he lays there a few moments before that feeling sinks in again. He can not stop himself in less than an hour he is out of bed again, back at Yuki's doorway, checking to make sure that his friend is still there.

That somehow he has not faded away, this process repeats, his trips getting more frequent, his times in the doorway getting longer as his heart fights against his mind, this is real, Yuki is really here.

Shizu feels a dread set in, he can not take losing him again and it is why after ten minutes he is still standing there on his tenth or hundredth trip who knows, just watching his friend sleep.

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Yuki was by no means a light sleeper. Granted, he didn't sleep like a rock or anything like that, but it took a bit of persistence to get him up usually, so it says something that by the 5th or 6th time of hearing footsteps by his doorway, it was starting to feel a little alarming. What the hell...? He only just got back through some kind of magic he really didn't understand and someone was already out to get him or something?!

His eyes opened slightly, figuring if he didn't give away that he was awake, then he could get the jump on whoever was just snooping around his room. The thought never occurred to him that it would be Shizu though. Why the hell was he— oh... Shizu must be worried, He wasn't one to do things just because. If Shizu was making the conscious effort to check on him like this, it meant he was bothered, or worried and Yuki couldn't really blame him. Until recently, he was gone from the world. Foolish actions and an unclear head to think with (was he even thinking) made sure of that, and then bam. He was back with Shizu in some strange new world. Shizu must be feeling anxious about it all.

Biting his bottom lip, he gave it a few more minutes, but when Shizu still remained by his door he shot up out of the bed, throwing the blankets off himself.

"Will you just get in already? Neither of us are going to be getting any sleep at this rate," his voice sounded huffy but his face was softer and a lot more inviting looking.

He patted the bed to emphasize what he meant. The one sure way to cure anxiety, at least for something like this, was for them to be side by side, right?

[shizusumi]

He was so intent on watching the rise and fall of Yuki's chest he never noted that his eyes had cracked or that he was biting his lip. In fact, he has no idea Yuki knows he is there or he may have turned and gone back to his room, not sure how to explain why he is standing here being weird staring in at the other sleeping.

Then like the whirlwind he is Yuki is bolt upright and Shizu's eyes go wide, clearly caught and not expecting to be. He just stares at the mess of blankets and tousled headed boy telling him to get in. It's not that they all haven't shared sleeping space, sleepovers as kids. Long days where they lay down to stare at clouds and the four drift off. It's that getting into that bed admits, he's vulnerable, that he is scared and seeking comfort.

Shizu has never been one to reach for those things and he hesitates there in the door way, looking at Yuki. He finally walks over, stopping at the edge of the bed. It's familiar, that huffy voice, those warm eyes, gentle face that tells a person it's okay. Part of his heart breaks, how many times has he seen that face in his life, how many times in the last year has he secretly missed it while he tried to get Hiiragi through his grief, burying his own.

"We're not spooning."

Then he slips in, rolling to his side so that his back is to Yuki he settles his head on the pillow, making sure to leave Yuki enough room as his hand slides underneath it, the other palm laying flat against the bed.

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That's all it took to get that dumb cheeky grin of his back onto his face. That grin he'd always share with the group whenever he had come up with some dumb idea. If the smile was 100% truthful is a completely different story though, but he was happy to see Shizu that much was sure.

Once Shizu gets himself comfortable, Yuki tugs the blankets back over them both and lets himself flop back down on the bed, causing it to bounce a little bit. What is necessary? Nope. Was it funny? Well it was for Yuki, because he could picture the look of annoyance on Shizu's face even though he's facing the other way.

"Not even for a minute? How rude."

That huffy tone back, until he noticed the other hand of Shizu's just there, all alone, completely abandoned. Shifting onto his back, he reached out to take that hand into his own. This was fine. This was more than fine, and more than he deserved, honestly.

[shizusumi]

He can see the grin even after he closes his eyes. He knows, it's missing something a little, there is a sadness in Yuki because that smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. Shizu can understand it but there is a part, that he himself is not acknowledging that hopes maybe he can be enough to bring it back. He knows he's not Mafuyu or Hiiragi but he is here and at least they aren't alone.

His brow creases into the frown, certainly the mirror image of what Yuki imagined his face as the other flops down unnecessarily hard and flings the blankets over them, then there is warmth from the others body and he closes his eyes.

"Nope." Then his fingers are taken, his heart thumps once, Yuki is real, he's really here. Not one to be affectionate, it's a sign of all the turmoil in him, the desperate need to hold onto his friend for fear of losing him again when Shizu's fingers shift, sliding between Yuki's.

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Shizu wasn't the only one seeking out the comfort in Yuki being here either. Ever since appearing in this strange world, it all felt so unreal. He wasn't supposed to be here or anywhere... right? But he was. He was lying right beside Shizu, and this hand made him feel a sense of relief he hadn't realized he needed until now. He could feel Shizu's hand, which meant he was there. He was alive somehow and he could feel one of his best friends and it was equally as terrifying as it was comforting.

Giving a gentle squeeze to his hand, Yuki let out a deep breath and tried to fall asleep. While he was able to before, now that he had Shizu next to him, it somehow made it a little more difficult for him. His eyes were shut but his mind was racing. What if Shizu left him? What if Shizu actually died and this was just some kind of strange hell? What if Shizu decided he didn't want to put up with Yuki after everything he did? He definitely didn't deserve any kind of positive reactions, he didn't think so anyway.

This sucked.

This royally sucked.

He spent the next half hour squirming a little until finally he tilted his head to the side to look at the back of Shizu's head.

Whispering softly to him, as if anything he did might actually wake him up if he did go to sleep.

"Shizu... you asleep yet?"

[shizusumi]

Shizu is more relaxed laying there with Yuki, feeling his hand, knowing he isn't disappearing. But of course, it does not mean he sleeps. He was waiting to hear Yuki's breathing even out, and then maybe he would have dozed off himself. Every time Yuki squirms, Shizu's eyebrow furrows; he looks annoyed but is worried.

Something is up if the other can't get back to sleep, it was Shizu who was plagued with doubts and worries, he wonders, how hard this must be for Yuki too. To know that you aren't supposed to be here. Shizu himself wonders if maybe he didn't die if he did, wouldn't that mean then there is no way to take them apart from each other. That is almost comforting as it is scary; he is not ready to be dead; he doesn't think. But, he isn't prepared to let go of that hand either. Of all the things Yuki considered, that was the only one that was remotely possible. Yes, Shizu was hurt, mad at Yuki for what he did. But more than that, he missed him, and they are all they have here. His circle has always been small; he is not going to start abandoning portions of it now.

His eyes open, as if he knows Yuki is going to speak before he does. He can hear the intake of breath, and if he were one to laugh, he would.

"How can anyone sleep with you, wiggling?"

Except, he is not irritated. He was just his normal, not show my feelings self.

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"Its not like I was wiggling that much!"

Well if Shizu had felt a little dozy before, he definitely won't now with the way Yuki was shouting like that.

He did feel guilty though. It's not as if he had meant to keep Shizu up, especially since he was kind enough to climb into bed with him. He just couldn't seem to settle his mind long enough to actually sit still. All of his worries, his fears, they all just started piling on the moment he tried to fall back asleep. It was almost suffocating and the only thing keeping him breathing was that hand that he started holding tighter.

[shizusumi]

"You're like a worm you wiggle so much."

Yeah, definitely not dozy now, also not surprised, Yuki always did have a way of riling up pretty quickly and simmering down just as quickly as he does right now.

All things considered technically Shizu woke Yuki up first and Yuki invited him in. But it's all logistics at this point, right now they are both clearly in the bed and awake for the foreseeable future. Which is okay with Shizu, at least being near Yuki he can be certain something doesn't happen. Shizu sighs, letting that hand go briefly he rolls over, wraps an arm around Yuki while gathering his hand back, sliding fingers through it so they rest on the other boys stomach when he settles.

"Fine, one time we're spooning but only this one time." He knows something is bugging Yuki, he's showing his concern and his kindness that he tries to deny.

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He felt a little not jumpy and a little too paranoid at the moment, but having Shizu around seemed to help with it. It's why when Shizu let go of his hand he had this moment of panic before feeling that warmth wrap around him from behind.

Oh.

Oh.

That he wasn't expecting in the slightest, but his body already began feeling less tense, like being wrapped up in one of those warm weighted blankets. As mean as Shizu wanted everyone to see him as, he really was quite the opposite.

"Thanks, Shizu..."

He almost wanted to cry a little.

[shizusumi]

He really hopes Yuki does not cry, Shizu is strong, good at hiding his emotions but right now he feels very vulnerable. Even as he is the one wrapping his friend in his arms to offer comfort, security. He is drawing the same things from the fingers linked with his, the warm back pressed against him. It keeps reminding Shizusumi in his head, this is real, Yuki is here. He's not going to disappear again, he's not going to hurt himself again, he wouldn't do it, not now, not knowing what it did. Shizu won't let him, even if it means being with him every moment of every day to be sure.

"Don't mention it."

He knows it should feel awkward but it doesn't, the warmth of the blankets and of the other boy feels nice and after a moment he holds just a little tighter, showing this without intending to.

[newstring]

Would he ever do anything like this again? He'd like to think in some dark twisted way he's learned his lesson, but a small part of him still wasn't too sure. Sometimes his impulse control just seemed to shut off and he acted out way before his brain could even register what he was doing. What if that happened again here? What if Shizu disappeared, or someone in this place said the wrong thing to him? Would he still be able to keep a level head throughout it all?

Just thinking about it made him a little disgusted with himself. Why was he like this? What was it in him that made him so sporadic and dramatic?

Still... Shizu was here. He was right here for him of all people. His arm held him tight which just made him shift closer to Shizu and squeeze his hand tightly in return. He didn't deserve this, but he was also too selfish not to take it.

"No Really. Don't mention it. I don't need people thinking stuff about me," yuki says, trying to imitate Shizu's voice.

[shizusumi]

Shizusumi will try to be his buffer from the world, his darker thoughts and his loneliness. He may not be open and warm but he does know how to be a constant steady presence. It is one thing he has going for him. He is not sure what he can do if he disappears but since they both are here maybe it means this is it, there is no going back so he won't disappear and they'll just have to wait for the day Mafuyu and Hiiragi show up if they ever do.

Shizu would not want Yuki to feel that way, sure he could explode, be dramatic, but it's because he's got such a big heart. Yuki feels things more starkly than any of them, he was always the voice for their group of misfits, he had to be loud but he was always warm. Even now, he is still arm and while he laments in his head Shizu is drawing comfort from him in silent reflection.

Irk...

"I do not sound like that.You're too high pitched." Sadly, it is a very good imitation and an accurate wording because he tries hard not to be seen as anything but the standoffish silent guy.

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"Wait, really? Okay hold on a second."

Was he seriously going to keep them from sleeping just to do this?

He cleared his throat a few times, testing his tone a few more times, until he gets to a deeper pitch.

"Tch. Go to sleep or I'm kicking you out of your own bed."

Yep. It looks like this was a think Yuki was going to be doing. The voice didnt even last long before he started laughing. It was enough to keep him distracted from his own thoughts for the time being. Should he be trying to sleep again? Probably. But he'd much rather keep Shizu up along with him so he wouldn't have to deal with any anxious feelings.

[shizusumi]

Yes, clearly he is going to keep them awake to do this. Also, clearly Shizusumi is going to indulge him if that is not obvious from the way he huffs out a breath. Okay, maybe that was almost a laugh but not happening, he does not do that.

"More like I'm going to muzzle you so you can't talk"

He will put his hand over Yuki's mouth, don't test him, though of course it will all be in good teasing fun. Then again, seems he may further it.

"Besides, you sound like a little kid trying to imitate his dad."

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Does he really want to risk it? Yuki wouldn't even hesitate to lick his hand if it covered his mouth for more than a few seconds. It's gross Shizu out a bit (probably) but Yuki would absolutely find it hilarious.

Just like that comment. Yuki starts chuckling softly as his hand sort of squeezes Shizu's a little tighter. He couldn't see the look on his face right now, but just from his tone, he could tell Shizu was a little amused and that reaction was enough to make Yuki feel even more relaxed.

Was this how Hiiragi felt all the time when he was cozied up to Shizu? He never really thought about it before now because his mind was always preoccupied with everything else going on, but... it was nice. Really nice. He knows Shizu mentioned this being a one time thing, but... he wouldn't mind if this continued.

"Oh yeah? Lets here you do better then."

[shizusumi]

Yuki keeps it up and yes he will risk it, besides all that means his Shizusumi will run his hand down Yuki's face making sure to give him his spit back. It would probably gross him out a little, gross him out enough and he might just pin Yuki and lick his face as payback, so really it's up to him.

Oh, well no that's nice the squeeze, surprisingly so is the spooning. He said one time but if Yuki asked or maybe even if he doesn't, Shizusumi would lay like this with him again. He's warm, tucks nicer against Shizu than he would have thought, they aren't much different in size so he thought it would be awkward.

"Of course I can imitate myself."

But, maybe, he can be a little goofy for once and try to imitate Yuki, he clears his throat, trying to send his voice to a higher pitch.

"I'm..." Nope he can't do it, he snaps his mouth shut because that was ridiculous and he sounded utterly embarrassing, instead he tightens his arm around Yuki.

"I'm Shizu and if Yuki doesn't hold still I'm going to tie him to his own bed." Said in his own tone of voice, trying to sound as annoyed as possible. Failing miserably.

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Looks like a lot of gross hand licking and being pinned was in his future, because Yuki, being the impulsive spirit that he was, was obviously not going to stop annoying Shizu, no matter what. He was already too distracted to go to sleep, and Shizu made the mistake of letting Yuki know he was awake. They were both pretty much doomed from the start, not that Yuki seemed to mind.

Squirming a little more as he continued getting comfortable as the little spoon, (it was weird being little spoon. Mafuyu was usually the little spoon) Yuki bit his bottom lip to try and hold back the laughter he had when Shizu gave a short attempt at mimicking him. His voice was just not meant to be higher pitched like that, at all! Quiet snickers slipped past his lips though as he felt that grip around him tighten. Oops, did he go too far? Well, he had to continue then, right?

"Wow, I didn't know you were into that kinky stuff, Shizu."

That voice of his, always so warm and teasing at the same time.

[shizusumi]

Yup, this will be Yuki's life, Shizu spit all over his face while the other male pins him down. Hope he is ready for it. In truth, he is not as annoying as he might think, maybe a year ago he would have been but now, now it is a balm to a broken heart to hear that teasing voice.

When he squrims, Shizu shifts, sliding a leg between his to try and pin him, really little spoons need to not wiggle so much it makes things difficult on big spoons. Yuki should know this if he is usually the big spon. There is a sputter of surprise at that.

He should have seen that coming, this is Yuki but even Shizu is a little surprised at that. That warm voice, with it's teasing tone does not help matters.

"You'd like it too much." There see he can tease back to.

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You know, having Shizu shift until his leg was between his own probably should be really annoying and maybe even uncomfortable, but it was actually kind of nice. Nice enough that it seemed to stop Yuki's squirming around for now. Maybe because it meant the two of them were even closer now, like every inch of him was starting to feel Shizu's warmth and it was so comforting. For the first time since waking up in this place, Yuki's mind felt like it could calm down for like two seconds.

Maybe this was just another reason why Hiiragi adored Shizu. He just had this sort of magical calming aura about him. Was he secretly a super hero? Was calming aura's his special ability? Did Shizu even realize he was a super hero?! Ah.... but it was so nice. Incredibly nice even.

"Yeah... you're probably right. If it meant I got to stare into those intense eyes of yours~~~!"

His tone still had that teasing sound to it. He just couldn't help himself. When Shizu joined in, it was like that switch in his mind just couldn't be turned off again.

[shizusumi]

He does have a knack for knowing how to calm down a wiggling blond, that is for sure. He thinks for a second maybe it should be awkward, this is Yuki, not Hiiragi but somehow it doesn't feel weird. He can almost feel the tension leave his friend for the two seconds that his mind does calm down. Then almost like the energy exudes from him Shizu can feel it coming.

Yuki's clearly thinking something crazy in his head. Shizusumi definitely does not see himself as any kind of hero, super or otherwise. He was just a quiet guy who had a way of staying calm even when others such as Yuki or Hiiragi got worked up.

Irk..that is well that is not surprising this is Yuki after all. Besides hie eyes are not intense, are they? Why is he even thinking about that.

"Nope, I'm blindfolding you too."

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Was this really the path that Shizu wanted to travel down? Did he really want to go to keep going with Yuki on this, because it was going to be hard to get him to stop, and when he heard that comment slip past Shizu's lips, his own curled into a bigger grin.

He shifted again, just a little bit, and his head turned to the side as if trying to get a look at Shizu. It was hard to do from his position since he was sort of stuck here with Shizu's body already tangled up with his own.

"Oho~? So that's what you're into, huh? I'm learning so much about the inner workings of Shizuchan~!"

[shizusumi]

Well, until Yuki can sleep, he is not going to sleep. And something is comforting at hearing the timber of Yuki's voice when he talks even if he is saying ridiculous things. Because when is he not.

When Yuki turns to try and look at him, Shizu props up a little bit, it curves him into his friend but at least makes it so he can see his face. Then he says those words and Shizu's eyebrows narrow.

Irk...

He uses his hand that has his elbow propped to the bed to hold up to turn Yuki's face away. With an almost playful shove considering it's Shizu and was not at all surprisingly done gently.

"We can't all be perverts like you; the world would never get out of bed."

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"Okay but, you gotta admit. That would definitely be a pretty passionate way to go."

Of course he still has that big dumb grin on his face, even after getting his face shoved away, and this time it felt a little more genuine. Talking all this nonsense with Shizu really did seemed to do the trick. His mind wasn't wandering off thinking of all the bad shit it could possibly come up with, not right now. He was only thinking about ho nice this was, to mess around with Shizu again. How he hasn't changed any. How— there was a tear in his eye as he stared at the dark wall again.

He missed this... he seriously missed this and he missed Shizu.

His hand gripped tighter on Shizu's as he tried to laugh off this sudden rush of feelings.

"But hey, even I'm not that horny. How could I protect your purity from others if I'm in bed all day?"

[shizusumi]

"I don't want to die while having sex...."

That does not sound pleasant for the partner in this endeavor. Not to mention, what an awkward way to go. That grin looks a little brighter, a little more like it used to. Of course, how many times had they had some idle dumb conversation like this. Shizu has to admit, it makes him feel calmer too. Shizusumi will probably never change much, he is a very habitual young man.

He feels that hand squeeze, he may not see the tear but he just somehow knows, and not only does his hand squeeze tighter but so does his arm. Maybe it's not needed, maybe it is but it's the only way he knows to offer comfort.

"Who says I have my purity or that you could protect it." He's not a monk you know, though he's not really saying one way or another.

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"I says it and what I says is like at least right half of the time. Actually that might be stretching it, but I'm still saying I'm right anyway."

He let out a loud huff, as if that would somehow be the deciding to this argument about Shizu's purity. Why was it that important? Well... it honestly wasn't, but it was easy to get lost in a conversation like this than to think about other stuff.

[shizusumi]

If Yuki could see Shizusumi's face he'd see a ghost of a smile go over his lips, really it's impossible for it not to.

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day.." He teases of course, but this is just such a silly conversation what else is he supposed to do.

"Besides, you're the dirtiest one here, you protecting purity is like a fat kid guarding cake."

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"Maaan I could really go for some cake now too. You think this place has a bakery we could check out tomorrow or something?"

Yuki tilted his head back a little to give Shizu a curious look. He seemed completely unfazed by the comment of his dirtiness. Because lets face it, everyone knew what a big dumb perv Yuki could be sometimes.

[shizusumi]

There is a slight tick in Shizu's body, almost as if that comment would have made him laugh if he was the laughing type.

"I am going to smash a cake in your face if you don't shut up and go to sleep."

Though there is a gentleness in those dark eyes when Yuki looks at him, he'll now Shizu does not really know it, he also will know they will be off in search of a bakery tomorrow for sure. As to his pervert status, clearly, he is the biggest pervert in their group, or at least the most vocal one.